Silent Night
by Neko-Kyoutan
Summary: Sleep in heavenly peace. . . Riku-centric, oneshot. Enjoy.


**Alright, so I'm attempting to write again. It's been a while hasn't it chickies? 3 Well, sorry about that, though I'm pretty sure that no one noticed x3 Except for Kyoko, and she doesn't count. **

**Well, on to whatever I have to say aboutt his ficcy. I'm a bit. . .late. See, this is a Christmas fic, and it's Riku (who I do not own) based. And yes. It's angsty, though I'm pretty sure I failed miserably at it, I hope you people can at least get a good laugh out of my attempt xD **

**So with love, I present you with. . .**

_**Silent Night**_

_Silent Night,_

_Holy night. . . _

He didn't have the best of singing voices, though it's not something that anyone would cringe at. It was flat at times and slightly breathy in places with a slightly falsetto tone. Luckily, no one else was listening, no one ever was. Not here anyways. It was always night, always silent. The only way to keep track of the days was to count the seconds in your head. So far. . . he was at 2,612,986. . .almost two years.

_All is calm, _

A small husky chuckle reached his lips at the irony of this verse. It was never calm here. You had to watch your back, look out for yourself, keep one eye open. . .at all times. Never safe, never calm. Always so on edge, all in the name of survival. Though some would wonder, 'Why so intent on surviving here?' or 'Why not just give up?'

And sometimes? Well, sometimes he thought up the same questions. Why bother with living in a world where no one would notice if you died anyways? There was no one here. There never would be. . . and this was where he would be wandering for the rest of his life. _For the rest of my life. . ._ It's hard to forget how long forever is when you're going mad keeping track of the time. . .

_**"It's Christmas! Are you up yet?!" A loud knock on the door disturbed the formerly sleeping teen. He had been having such a nice dream too. . . oh, what the holidays did to the imagination. **_

_**It took a moment to catch up with life before the teen answered back with a small, quirky smile of his own. "Yeah, just. . .wait a minute." He huffed. Why was he so impatient when it came to this holiday? He swore, his overly enthusiastic. . . whatever position the child outside of his door held. . . was often a hassle. "Don't touch your present yet!" **_

Though sometimes, Riku almost forgot who the boy outside of his door was. He wanted to say it was an accident. That he'd never forget the person that he had. . . he'd never forget that person. But it was easier when he didn't think about it. It was easier to close his eyes and tell himself that he was alone. That he'd always be alone. That he'd probably wander this silent, deadly world until he eventually hit rock bottom.

Even so, the teen couldn't forget completely. All of the memorys that kept him sane were. . . were of him. He was always there. Always there smilling and laughing. Always there screaming and grinning and just adding a touch more of light to their ever peaceful world. Those thoughts kept him sane, and kept him going as well.

It was around christmas time. Well, if he had divided the seconds up right. It had been a bit before summer when he left his home, so. . . May maybe? Or maybe vacation had already started. That and it hadn't been more than a year ad a halves worth of seconds yet. . . nothing was confirmable in this world. _Everything was so fake and dark and transparent and __shouldn't be here in the first place__! _The teen bit his lip at the shudder that fell from his slightly nonexistant heart.

_**"How'd you know this is what I wanted! You're like, psychic Riku!" The boy grinned, glomping Riku and nuzzling his arm. He had been begging for this stupid model spaceship for ages now how could he not know what he wanted? (1) "Now open yours! Open yours!" The cheesy grin on the brown haired boy's face sent a warm tingle down Riku's back, and he only nodded before reaching for his own gift. **_

No matter how often he thoguht of this memory, he couldn't finish it! He couldn't remember the gift, and. . .and more importantly. . . he couldn't remember the boy's name. He knew it was the same person he was fighting to see again. Was surviving for the unfathomable chance that he might catch a glimps of just one more time.

He knew it was the boy he had hurt. He had hurt badly, and that was part of the reason he was wandering this hell in the first place. _What's his name, what's his name, what's his name, what's his name?_ And he was in everything that Riku remembered about himself other than his name. The male exhaled, looking up at the starless sky.

_All is bright. . ._

He had almost forgotten to sing the next part of the song while thinking. Another laugh, but this time it was bitter, short. . . almost angry. It was never bright here.Always dark.

_**Always dark. **__**Always dark**_**. **And there was no one else here, so. . .was all of that darkness his fault? He hadn't, couldn't blame anyone else! So. . . maybe if he kept fighting, he could make things brighter here. Like he had. Like the boy that plauged his everything.

And if he made it bright here? Like where he and the boy had lived, maybe he would come here too. Sometimes somewhere deep in Riku's chest area told him that the boy wouldn't stop looking for him. _Then he can tell me what his name is! _That single thought made him smile. A name to go with the face. . . that'd be something that would fill a very large gap in Riku's. . . heart.

_It was hard to call it a heart after the bits and pieces he recieved of his past actions. . . _

They were the only thoughts he had that. . . that weren't of him. They were of Riku himself, and he had. . . he had caused so much trouble. So much pain. Believed in so many lies and been plagued by so much evil and revenge. It disgusted him! How could one person be so unbelievably stupid! How could. . . how could he have betrayed his only person?

What if the brown haired boy hadn't simply lost track of him, but run away? Then should he be looking for him? Maybe he really should just give up. He had no real reason to keep fighting.

But no, he had to change. He was always hiding, always destroying. He had to do things right for once. For once? He would be the one to make the world bright again. One heartless, one nobody, one villian at a time.

But wasn't he the villian himself?

_Round yon Virgin Mother and Child_

_**She was pretty, and reminded him so much of her son. Of her little. . . her son. And she smiled, giggling at the two boys and dragging them to the living room. there was a giant Christmas tree; and considering she was a single mother, it must have been quite the feat to get it in the house without breaking something important. **_

_**The brown haired boy's sat down, beckoning for him to sit beside her. The boy, who was still attatched quite firmly to Riku's arm seemed a bit reluctant at first, but flung himself at his mother and screaming words of Merry Christmas and I got you presents and I love yous were thrown around like it was Valentines day. **_

_Holy Infant so tender and mild_

That one was relatively new. He didn't know what to think of the reactions of the boy and his parent. Riku knew he had parents himself, and they were just as kind as any other he supposed. . .but. . . he couldn't remember a thing about them. Not a face, or a name. No whisps of hair or glittering eyes met him when he tried to remember any long-lasting moments of him spending time with his mother or father at his own home.

He was always with the boy. Always. Either at his home or on a beach or at school eating paste. There wasn't a thing Riku had to hismelf that the brunette hadn't tooth and clawed his way into. Thanks to him, he didn't remember anything about his old life. Just bittersweet and evil plagued his thoughts and all he knew was that there was something more. Something that he had to figure out, or his punishment wouldn't ever end. He had to do it, he had to figure it out! He had to see the brunette and his smiling face and deep blue eyes.

That was it. That was what all his thoughts eventually led to. That's why Riku hadn't given up yet. Why he hadn't dropped his everpresent weapon and given away his heart.

He had to wake him up.

_Sleep in heavenly peace  
_

**He had to wake him up.**

_Sleep in heavenly peace. . ._

**He had to wake Sora up.**


End file.
